Maybe it's because I'm feeling whiny today, and I don't want to put readers through that.
Maybe the Muses want me to feel like my fourth grade writers who struggle. Do they feel the same constraints I do, afraid to empty themselves on the paper for fear of reprisals? Sometimes I feel like all I write about is cutesy, beating-around-the-bush stuff, when I really want to scream and rant and vent about what is weighing on my soul. But I have to keep my audience (and potential audience) in mind, so I hold back. Do the students feel the same way?
Between my previous job running special education meetings at our district disciplinary center, and my current training to be a librarian, I have become almost paranoid about what I put on paper for public consumption. Forget about the First Amendment; I've become my own censor. Is this diplomacy, or repression? Am I a coward for worrying about the repercussions my posts may have on my current or future employment? Or am I just following what I've been taught to teach in information literacy and digital footprinting, to be wary of how I represent myself in cyberspace?
Can I handle writing my truth?
You bring up a really hard question Chris. I've thought a lot this year about the First Amendment stuff. Seems like there are lots of things going n right now in education where we really do need to be brave enough to say that the emperor is not wearing any clothes. And yet we all know that the repercussions, or potential impact on our careers might be more than we can handle, if we do exercise those rights. I don't think there are any easy answers.
ReplyDeleteCarol, thank you for validating my thoughts. We're between a rock and a hard place in these cases. I have found my outlet in contacting my elected officials and venting verbally (a lot, it seems, these days!). My network of educators across the globe on Facebook has been tremendously supportive as well.
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